i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
