The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
