Im at strip club and am horny
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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