I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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