It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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