Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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