How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
