Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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