sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
