Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
