I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
