i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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