i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
