My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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