he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
