i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
