i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
