i permit you to call me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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