i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
