Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
