just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
