I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
