You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
