North Korea, Best Korea!
I am spending my child support on dildos
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
