Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
