Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
