i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
