You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
