just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
