...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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