my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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