either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We are two peas in an std pod
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
