She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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