I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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