I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
