On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
