You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
