yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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