You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
