THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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