another moral hangover. fuck.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
