you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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