He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
