so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
