I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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