And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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