Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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