weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
