He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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