He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
