I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
