All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
